Breakthrough

(from left to right) Zoser (Photo Source: SassyBlack’s Soul Selection), Mirabai Kukathas (Photo by Amber Zbitnoff), J Blanco (Photo Source: The Residency), Lady Saigon (Photo by: Sarah Nguyen), kidLIO (Photo by: Olivia Lohmann), Aurelio Valdez (Photo by: José)

To celebrate our 2nd anniversary of ‘The Song’, we wanted to highlight our Totem Star artists that collaborated together to create “Breakthrough.” Written by Zoser, Mirabai Kukathas, LIO (formerly kidLIO), and Pak, and performed by Lady Saigon (formerly known as Pink Anbu), Mirabai Kukathas, LIO, Aurelio, and J Blanco, “Breakthrough” is a song that speaks volumes.

THE PERFORMERS

Lady Saigon, Mirabai Kukathas, LIO, Aurelio Valdez, J Blanco

LADY SAIGON
What's your story? Where did you grow up?
I was born and raised in White Center a.k.a. Rat City.

I come from a household of Vietnamese immigrants and refugees and am one of the first of my people to be born on American soil. Even though I was born and raised in America, English wasn't my first language. Growing up my parents told many stories about the war and famine in Vietnam, the ill intent of its communist government, but more importantly, the culture of it's people. Which gave me a dual mentality on world and social issues. I guess you could say it has made me more open to passion and compassion.

When did music/ singing/ rapping first get introduced to you?
My parents always karaoke’d to Vietnamese music at home. If you don't know what that sounds like, it's a lot of saxophone, cha cha, and ballads, so that was my introduction to music.

My brother and cousins on the other hand would always be playing rap and hip hop. Soulja Boy's "crank dat" is coming to mind. My uncle used to also bump a lot of Snoop Dogg.

I remember being 7 when my older brother played Kanye's "Heartless", I thought it was the most amazing sound ever. It spoke to my heart and I didn't know why. I still think it is one of the best to this day.

My first time singing was actually when my brother and cousin bought the video game “rock band.” They never let me play the guitar or drums, so I was stuck with the mic. Which led me to realize how much I loved to sing.

How would you describe your singing/ rapping style?
I don't really have a style. I'll rap/sing on anything. It don't matter. All with love.

What have you learned from your experience with Totem Star? What are some of the biggest take aways?
Totem Star gives a platform, power in voice, and countless opportunities to people who don't normally have the tools. As an artist, there is always space to grow and learn. They've made me realize I could make a living out of what I love to do which is so powerful. They make such a large impact on the low income community, especially for people who don't have the privilege or ability to access such things. They teach you how to leap and then you do it.

LIO
As this was one of your last Totem Star recordings, what were your feelings during this time? What were you looking forward to, cherishing, excited for, etc.
I wasn't thinking of it as my definite last recording, so I treated it with the same care and intensity that I usually would-- obsessing over word choice, pitch and harmonies from singers, if I sounded honest enough. When you're stepping away from something that consumed your life for so long in a beautiful way, you wonder if you'll ever find anything as beautiful again. But before I even thought about that, I was cherishing the process of being deep in love with something of mine that I created from the depths of my pain (past or present). Even if I never listened to it again it would always be a staple in time for me that made me proud of my progress.

Is music still apart of your life in college? What future ambitions do you have in your art & career?
I love music all the same. I'm not in college currently for music which I believe is healthy because I always want to bring something new to my musical artistry and a lot of time near it can make one repetitive. However, as for future ambitions, I've been really focusing on my absolute devotion to film; nothing is competitive in film the way music becomes in my opinion, it's just people making beautiful things and I'm hoping to use my love for music to be a curator of the soundtrack for one of my own movies, or help produce an album in the future, that sort of thing. I think rapping and singing has become more of a hobby for me, I'm definitely a more behind-the-scenes person which I'm in love with.

MIRABAI
What's your story? Where did you grow up, when did music/singing/rapping first get introduced to you?
I was born in Seattle but I moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia when I was a baby and I lived there until I was four, when I moved back to Seattle. I moved again when I was eleven (this time to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam) before once again moving back to Seattle to start high school. Through all of this, music has been part of my life and a part of me. I think a lot of artistic people say things like "oh, i've been dancing since before I could walk" or "I've been painting since I was a baby" or something like that, but while it may be cliche, the same is true for me. I've been singing since I was able to make a sound. It's just always felt like the most natural thing; a way to make myself happy

How would you describe your singing/ rapping style?
I grew up on my dad's music, namely 60s and 70s rock, folk, soul, blues, bluegrass, and country. I have a deep respect for all kinds of music so I try to blend genres and create a sound that's unique to me and is the best way to tell my story. But if you know me, you know that I'm slightly obsessed with 60s folk legend and human rights activist, Joan Baez, so I guess you could say that my style is pretty inspired by her.

What have you learned from your experience with Totem Star? What are some of the biggest takeaways?
I wasn't very confident in my ability as a musician or in my value as a person before I came to Totem Star. It's given me a family of musicians and smart mentors who love me and more opportunities than I could ever hope to have. It's helped me to realize that I have a beautiful voice but also that i matter beyond it.

During this time, you were experiencing vocal pain. How did you learn to overcome this during the recording process? Any lessons for self-care learned?
Yeah, so almost exactly one year ago I started having this pain in my throat. My voice felt raw and tired all the time. Always like I was sick or had just spent the past hour yelling at the top of my lungs. I've gone to a lot of doctors, completely augmented my diet and lifestyle, and it's gotten better but it hasn't completely gone away. When we were recording “Breakthrough” we still weren't completely sure about what was wrong with my throat. Every day was a total crapshoot. Would my throat hurt a lot or only a little bit? Would I be able to sing fine without anyone noticing or would I not be able to produce a note? It made me really nervous and then really scared and then just really sad. And I'm still working through that. Still going to lots of doctors, still usually experiencing some vocal pain, and still abiding by those restrictive diet-and-lifestyle changes. I guess what I did to "cope" was 1) be really strict with myself and follow every rule my doctors had laid out for me, 2) CONSTANTLY drinking water and/or throat coat tea and 3) try to stay calm.

What's one accomplishment you've had with Totem Star?
Writing, recording, and producing my original music.

What's something you've always dreamed of doing with your art?
I mean, hell: what artist doesn't wanna be famous? To play on the biggest stage in front of a thousand people who adore you? To record with the (Italian chef kiss) best equipment and have the most artistic freedom? Sure, I want that. But I'd also happily settle for just being able to keep making art. For my art to keep making me and the people around me happy. And (here's the most farfetched part) to be able to afford to live in Seattle with the money I make as an artist.

AURELIO VALDEZ
You're a part of so many programs and extracurricular activities on top of school. How do you balance out so many commitments while still having time for your artistry?
Balancing everything I do is a challenge. I often find myself being overwhelmed. The best way I know how to balance everything out is to keep two things in mind in everything I do: fight for people and fight for myself. Often times these lines between the two blur. When I do this it makes the tired nights and exhaustion all worth it in the end. I also keep in mind how intentional I am in everything I do. I have to be equally as intentional with myself. This means taking care of myself through things such as therapy, playing video games, hanging out with friends, or sleeping in.

What's one accomplishment you've had with Totem Star?
Biggest accomplishment I had with totem star was definitely collaborating with everyone for FESTA, it was my first time directly involving myself with Totem Star and overall first firm collaborating with everyone in my artistry to this extent.

THE SONGWRITERS

Mirabai Kukathas, Zoser, LIO, Pak

MIRABAI
The process of writing this song was a collaboration. Tell us what yall's process was collaborating? What is this song about?
We actually had to write this song for an Arts Corps fundraiser. It was kind of a pain to write; it took forever. There were so many people involved in the writing process, all of whom write very differently than me. (I wrote the intro-verse and the bridge and I helped with a few other words and phrases, but the rest of the song was written by Zoser and LIO.) Everyone was always busy and finding time to write and practice was hard. But when the song came together it felt really true and special and I had nothing but love for everyone who helped make it real. When we recorded it I just felt so blessed.

BIOGRAPHIES

LADY SAIGON
Lady Saigon (formerly known as Pink Anbu), Sarah Maria Tu Nguyen Mai is an American singer, songwriter. Born and raised in Seattle, Washington. Previously known as Pink Anbu before later changing her name to Lady Saigon in 2019. She loves basketball and bringing concern to world and social politics.

LIO
LIO is 18, ready and thriving. Her interest for social justice led her to the arts and her passion for the arts led her to herself. LIO uses psychology and personal adversity to create multimedia art that brings her to center and that resonates in the hearts of others. Her love for creativity is everlasting.

MIRABAI
Seattle born and everywhere-raised, Mirabai Kukathas has been a singer all her life. She loves nothing (other than perhaps garlic fries) more than stories, no matter the medium in which they are told. Her music is an act of healing; a confusing celebration of her culture, identity, and life. With lots of love, effort, and community, she works to blend folk, pop, jazz, soul, and a lil rock n roll to tell her own unique story.

J BLANCO
J Blanco is a producer/multi-instrumentalist from West Seattle. He gets inspiration from tons of different music, which really shows in the music hes make. Some of his influences are 9th Wonder, Nick Mira, Sidepce, Mac Ayres, Royce David, and many more. He plays trumpet, piano, guitar, bass, drums and ukulele, all self taught.

AURELIO VALDEZ
Aurelio Valdez is a Mexican-American Seattle born Hip Hop artist with a potent style. With a range of topics spanning from politics and history to identity and his upbringing, Aurelio’s music focuses on what it means to truly embody Hip Hop culture by empowering himself and his people. His alluring lyrics provoke thought and reveal his love for Hip Hop culture with every track.

ZOSER
Zoser is a singer/songwriter and music bender with a soulful voice, thoughtful lyrics, and a guitar. As an up and coming Seattle artist, Zoser began playing guitar when he was just 10-years-old. By the age of 12, he began penning his own lyrics and performing to local audiences in his hometown of Augusta, Georgia before relocating to Seattle where he graduated from West Seattle High School in 2018. By culling and synthesizing seemingly disparate musical forms and influences, Zoser has crafted a sound that is wholly and undeniably his own. The result is something spectacular to behold: a voice that conveys a world-weary ache and a bright optimism, and a sense of musicality that is both rhythmic and infectiously melodic. He is a singer, a storyteller and something of a revelation – not necessarily a soul singer but something more rare and precious – a singer with soul.

Mirabai Kukathas

Photo Credit: Amber Zbitnoff

Seattle born and everywhere-raised, Mirabai Kukathas has been a singer all her life. She loves nothing (other than perhaps garlic fries) more than stories, no matter the medium in which they are told. Her music is an act of healing; a confusing celebration of her culture, identity, and life. With lots of love, effort, and community, she works to blend folk, pop, jazz, soul, and a lil rock n roll to tell her own unique story.

What was one of your first experiences with music that made you want to become a creator? Why do you create music? 
I don’t have a dramatic moment when I realized that I loved to sing. I think I was born with the knowledge (or maybe the instinct) that I needed to sing. Even before I could speak I was already babbling the lyrics and melody to the hit song “Old McDonald Had a Farm.”  Singing has always just been what I do. Growing up I’d sing as I walked and sing at my desk in school (much to the chagrin of my classmates) and I’d make up little songs about whatever I did or felt.  I’d sing to calm myself down when I was scared or anxious. I still do that. Singing has always just felt natural. I’ve always known it’s what I’m supposed to do and I always figured it would be what I did (at least in some capacity) for the rest of my life. As I got older I started to realize how much of myself I could communicate through music. I realized that if music could heal me maybe I could use it to help heal other people too, or at least allow them to feel some release or empathy or relatability. 

Tell us about your process creating this song? 
How this song came into existence actually starts almost two years ago with the amazing kidLIO. She texted me one day and said “I've written these lyrics and I think I want you to sing it.” So the next time we were together in the studio she showed me the lyrics. Almost immediately a melody came to me and I just started singing it. I related to every lyric she’d written and honestly, it just felt like the music poured out of me. It was really a beautiful day. 

I wrote a short bridge for the song (which is really just an extended pun) and figured out some simple ukulele chords and then I did not record it. I performed it at a handful of open mics and showcases but I didn’t feel confident enough in myself to record it and anyways I was super busy.  Then, at the beginning of this past school year, I made a resolution to start actually using the studio, because despite having been an intern for over a year I had never really used it. 

Between my crappy health, busy school schedule, and tendency to overthink every step of the process, it took me the better part of a year to record,  mix, and master this song. It was a rough experience and I really hated that song some days, but Matt and Pak were there with me every step of the way and I learned a lot from the whole process. 

What is the song about? 
To me, the song is about feeling like you're not enough for someone you care about. It's about liking someone so much it hurts. It gives you a bellyache and a headache and all the aches. I think it’s all very relatable. I think a lot of people of all ages have felt that weird jumble of emotions where they think “I want to love this person and I want them to love me but I don't feel like I'm good enough for them and/or they’re not very nice to me and also I'm also very nervous when I'm around them but I really really like them.” It’s about young and confusing emotions. 

It’s a very sweet song and I feel honored to be part of the collaborative process that made it. LIO has always said it’s my song, and it does feel very personal to me in both content and also because of the arduous process of producing it,  but really, truly it’s a collaboration. It has LIO’s beautiful lyrics, Pak and Matt helped me produce and arrange it,  and I wrote the melody and a few lyrics and do my best to sing it with truth and power. The song really feels like a testament to collaboration and to this family that we have at Totem Star. 

Throwback: Winter Magic

Winter Magic 2018 was a blast!!

Performer & Host Mirabai

By Zoser

With the lovely Mirabai hosting, her casual jokes and love for Christmas lifted the spirits of the crowd. Ran by the interns of Totem Star, the night behind the scenes went smoothly. It was a very different experience for me and rapper, Primoe, with us being stage managers. Most of our lives we’ve been the act, but to manage the acts themselves was a challenge. The constant running around made us feel like we were apart of something that we were building.

ZAG spitting truth

Luckily it wasn’t just us who were dictating where the vibe of the night went. Our DJ and Totem Star artist, ZAG, displayed his knowledge of music while on the decks. According to ZAG, “It’s always good to be a DJ because I get to dictate what the mood will be like.” Mirabai calls ZAG a “benevolent mastermind.” He even played “A Whole New World” off of the Aladdin soundtrack to make me feel like a cloud in the sky. The night was elegant and benefited Totem Star as a whole. With the many donations that we received, Totem Star will live to see many more days, and years!!!

Teaching Artist Matt and Totem Star Artist Primoe

I took one thing to heart that night. My family is more than just my mom, or my grandmother. It’s the community that brought me in when I felt alone. It’s the community that let the artist be true to themselves. It’s the community that makes us want to show what we’re all about. Totem Star will be my family for as long as I’m alive; and Winter Magic will be the biggest memory that I’ll have of them.

Totem Star Artist Zoser performing Small Worlds by Mac Miller

The Spotlight 2018

By: kidLIO

I was the host for Totem Star’s 2018 Fundraiser, The Spotlight. Lemme tell you how that was.

On October 12th, 2018, The Spotlight came together as less of a fundraiser and more of a family showcase, afters weeks of preparations, meetings and rehearsals that saved us from our daily schedules.

4 performances from 6 different artists that represent separate genres of Totem Star but the entirety of the Totem Star family. We’ll have testimonies from some of the artists that graced the stage- effecting us all with their love and passion for music, family, self-development and improvement. The Spotlight reminded me, as the host and a fellow intern and artist of Totem Star, of the importance of the youth movement that is this non-profit, the fundraisers and every performance we put on for groups of amazing audiences and other fam that chooses to support our cause and giving us all the chance to get better at our crafts and craft better spaces for us to create and invite more family in.

It was always an honor to be in the room full of artists that made up the family that changed my life when I was 14.

Rushing back and forth through the fill-in venue, a certain tension cursing my veins not to rest the last 30 minutes before showtimes, I found my anxiety restless. Tonight was not one of intended perfection, but of telling so many stories that all had one thing in common: this is my family and this is what family does for one another. I knew I had a duty— 17, a high school senior and no where near a professional entertainer, I had to put forth my best foot to make tonight one that everyone who left remembered.

Itinerary in hand and one of my best fashion statements, I tried to take deep breaths before I stepped on stage.

Many pep-talks and back pats later, Bestock tells me that he is on his way up to the booth to present me. I’m short for breath and can’t find my heart anywhere except in my stomach and it’s beating erratically. It’s actually ridiculous how many times I’ve performed on the Thelma DeWitty theater stage in Youngstown Cultural Arts Center, and yet each time the feeling is more life-or-death than before. I realize as my name courses through the speakers in the theater, that this is what I live for.

The anxiety, the pounding in my chest, the sweaty palms, the passion to make every performance better than the last, to make my family proud.

I look around at the crowd. These awesome youth artists ready to sing their hearts out. I take a gulp of water, and deep breath—

“Welcoming your host for the Spotlight—kidLIO!”

Horns by Bryce Fox slams through the speakers, and it’s like a white light envelops me for the rest of the night.

The night was opened by Red Eagle Soaring with a beautiful introduction for the Native space.

Interviewed Daniel Pak—a mentor and co-founder of Totem Star about his passion for helping us youth.

Then, our first performer after a dope interview with a fellow artist Zo— a Georgia state—singing an original song, gave the audience an fun beginning to our showcase—leaving everyone gleaming in that experience. He spoke in our interview together about his first time performing at a talent show and how he got made fun of by kids he knew from school. How he has progressed anyhow past the hate and I’m sure it’s only the beginning for his journey through music, startling crowds with his honesty and talent to make any song lit! He tells us about his night went:

My time on the late night show with LIO was absolutely fantastic. I felt like my presence had meaning and my life was unfolding like a written script for a new tv show. I met a slew of people who wanted to know about Totem Star as a whole and why I joined the organization. The Spotlight was truly an experience to die for; and it’s all because of Daniel Pak and our amazing MC, LIO!

Following the first performance of the night, was a dynamic duo, Justus and Sarah— whose cover of The Moon Song, surely left everyone swooning for their chemistry on stage and the amazing clashes of their voices. In our interview, we spoke about they decided to collaborate on a song, what brought them to Totem Star and their choice of song. It was all genuine to the idea of them wanting a place to be their best artistic selves and have a chance for the world to see that.

They, indeed, left quite the impression on every person in the crowd— who all rooted for this collaboration. We’re hoping to see them perform together again soon at another Totem Star event.

Promptly after these two performances, the crowd were just left dazzling in fire from the heat of these awesome inside look to the passion of these artists and how we come together. Little did they know, the night was far from over and there more amazing performances to come.

After we thanked our sponsors and volunteers for the event (Food & Sh*t, A DJ & A Cook, That Brown Girl Cooks!, Sam Choy’s Poke To the Max), I found myself settling back into my Jimmy Fallon chair next to another artist, Zoë Roberts, a singer-songwriter from Washington. A native to Totem Star since she was a pre-teen, we sat to talk about her experience as a singer and how it can get scary to perform songs so full of emotions to audiences unknown. As fearless as they come for her age, Zoë still performed an original song entitled, Why?
Later, she shared her experiences of the night:

The spotlight was such an amazing night where people from all over got to see how amazing and influential our program is. They got to see us all working together as a family, and I realized how lucky I am to be a part of Totem Star, and how I probably wouldn’t be a musician still if it wasn't for all the love and support I have got from everyone there.

Zoë exited the stage with everyone in tears, her heartfelt performance obviously striking each individual beautifully.

Although there couldn’t ever be anyone that follow up the raw intensity of every artist before, my colleague, Mirabai Kukathas, found her way onto the stage and spoke with me briefly about a song we were performing together following the setup of the stage.

We spoke about how we wrote the song Rise, LIO the primary lyricist for the entire song, and Mirabai helping create melodies.

Her mention of her experience at The Spotlight:

Singing, speaking, just being at, and helping to organize the Spotlight was a real honor. I love this community so much, and anything I can do to be here, let alone help, makes me so happy. I got to sing a beautiful song I wrote with one of my best friends, I got to talk about what makes this community so great, and possibly best of all, I got to meet and be around some truly wonderful people.

After our small session of LIO: Jimmy Fallon who? with Totem Star artists, we settled onto the stage with:

Daniel Pak on drums, Justus on bass, Matt Sablan on guitar and Michael Grant on piano keys for our song Rise.

The crowd: our family, was so amazing at supporting. A photographer for the event, Danielle Elliott even caught a few pictures of the incredible participation for this moment.

Once Rise closed the night, before our Raise the Paddle, our DJ for the night, ZAG plays us all out as we exit the stage. He says this about his opportunity to be DJ for an event like the Spotlight:

It was so awesome being the DJ for the night. I got to compile a list of 70s and 80s Soul and Funk, which was a challenging because I’m not familiar with the genres but it was fun digging through the music and picking my set. It made me step out of my comfort zone in terms of what music I’m DJ’ing, but it’s definitely good for my artistry and the diversity of music I have to expose myself to.

The night went beautifully.

The rush I get from performing Rise as a black rap artist is constantly a new experience. I find happiness in our origin of creativity and the stage is one of the places.

I can’t believe that I went from the studio to that stage and every time my story is still being told.

The way I find myself as an artist is also the way I find myself as a human being— the type of artistry I put out into the world is all effected by the spaces they come from, what spaces harbor that energy and what spaces allow me to process those emotions.

The Spotlight was only one of the times that I found myself being listened to, that I watched artists be shown that if they chase their dreams they can meet them at the finish line.